When reading about how relational dialectics manifest in our personal relationships, I learned that awareness about relation dialectics, which are a set of needs for every person in a relationship that must be negotiated by those involved, is only a small part of navigating interpersonal relationships. According to L.A. Baxter, there are four ways people can manage dialectical tensions in their interpersonal relationships. For this post, I want to focus on Baxter’s fourth option for handling dialectical tension between people in a relationship, the option to reframe the dialectical tension, utilizing Oprah Winfrey’s podcast episode interviewing adult children who have initiated no-contact relationships with their parent(s).

I write about this podcast episode to apply Baxter’s option of reframing dialectical tensions because in this episode, a few of the interviewed children discuss their no-contact boundary with their parent(s) as a necessary measure of protection for themselves and their own children. These testimonials reveal how a child’s reframing of their no-contact measure clarifies that no-contact does not contradict or oppose that child’s love for their parent(s).

As someone who has established a no-contact boundary with my parent, I realize that I also engage in reframing my strategy for managing the dialectical tension between myself and my parent, like the testimonials do in Oprah’s podcast. I also reframe the no-contact boundary as ultimately supporting my relationship with my parent because no communication is never contradicting or opposing the love I feel for this parent.

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